stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
