we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
