Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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