sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
