I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
