Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
