So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
