Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
