he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
