I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
