My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
