One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize