he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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