I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
