You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
