Define "chronic" masturbator.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
