I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
