After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
