I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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