hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
