just tell him i said nine months
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
