Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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