We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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