It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize