it hurts more in the daytime
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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