Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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