I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
