one two three fourrrrnication!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
