I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
