best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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