10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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