Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
