wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
