it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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