so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
