i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
