So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
