he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
