dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
