Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
