i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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