stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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