think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
