Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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