NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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