Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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