can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize