is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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