Whod you bang
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
