you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she peed on how many people?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
