HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
