2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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