the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
