Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
