I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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