Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
