Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
