I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do herpes really smell.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
