when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize