Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
