party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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