Who wears a wallet chain?!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
