I only kidnapped one of them. chill
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
